Snapshot
by Fenmir
Summary: They have it all: angst, hatred, forgiveness, compassion, sadness, jealousy, anger, tension, attraction, fun, understanding, passion, happiness, sympathy, empathy, fire, protectiveness, honesty, trust, love... Unraveling Damon and Elena's relationship, one moment at a time.
1. Touch

Disclaimer: TVD is not mine.

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><p>Touch<p>

He's always finding ways to touch her; brushing her hair out of her face, cupping her face in his hands, lightly resting his hands on her hips, or merely just brushing against her as he moves past her. All of these are touches that, on their own, are perfectly appropriate. It's the way that he lingers just a fraction of a second too long; the way that her heart speeds up when he touches her. Those are what make it inappropriate, she reflects. The problem is, there really is no rational way she can explain asking him to stop touching her.

Besides, she thinks she might go crazy if he did.


	2. Dance

Disclaimer: TVD is not mine.

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><p>Dance<p>

"Dance with me?" Damon asks, perched on the end of the bed. She's spending the night at the boarding house, and, despite her best efforts, there hasn't been a whole lot sleep (actually, there hasn't been any sleep) going on so far.

"It's three in the morning, Damon," She groans, "I'm not going to dance with you."

"Well then, I guess I'll just have to occupy the night hours by trying to drink myself into a coma." He tells her, swigging from the half empty bottle of alcohol in his hand.

"Why can't you occupy the night hours by sleeping?"

"Boring," he shrugs. "I prefer to be active during the night time hours." He cocks an eyebrow at her suggestively, but she's too tired to react to the innuendo.

"I suppose you shouldn't have to drink yourself into a coma… fine." She hears herself saying. "Fine, I'll dance with you."

They are caught in a never ending dance, she realizes as she whirls around the room in his arms. The only problem was that neither of them knew the steps. Sometimes they both take a few steps forward towards each other, but mostly one advances while the other retreats. Sometimes Damon holds his ground and catches her briefly, until the music changes and she whirls away, only to return later on.

She always comes back to him, though, and she knows that has to mean something. She'll figure out what it means in the morning.


	3. Jealous

Disclaimer: TVD is not mine.

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><p>Jealousy is what she feels that morning that she sees him with Rebekah (and every other morning she catches him with a girl, but she'll never admit that.) She's not sure why this bothers her as much as it does. She has no right to be jealous. She has no right to feel possessive of Damon—to be angry with Rebekah for being with <em>her<em> Damon. She knows that she has no right to think of Damon as "her's". After all, she has pushed him away time and time again. It's completely irrational of her to be angry with him because he went and found someone else (even if the aforementioned someone had tried to kill her).

But she needs him more than she will ever admit, and it hurts to think that maybe he doesn't need her as much as she thought he did.

Jealousy is what he feels when he sees how much she loves Stefan; when he sees how she refuses to let Stefan go, even though Stefan has done so much to hurt her. She loves Stefan even though Stefan left her.

He's jealous because he loves her with every fiber of his being, because he loves her in a way that Stefan never will, and he knows that he will never deserve her. She is good and made of light, and he is made of darkness. All he can do is cling to the shadows and stare longingly at the light, wishing it was his. But Stefan? Stefan has always striven to be better. Stefan deserves her.

He thinks that might be the hardest truth he's ever faced in his life.


	4. Trust

To ItWasYouAlwaysYou for reviewing so many times. Thank you.

Disclaimer: TVD is not mine.

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><p>"Do you trust me?" He asks.<p>

"Yes," she says immediately. She doesn't have to think about it for even a second. After all this time, he is the only one she still trusts completely. He is the only one who has never left her and, no matter how many times he hurts her, she will never forget that. She will never forget that he has always been there for her. She will never forget that he has saved her time and time again.

"Then you have nothing to worry about," he smirks and, just for a moment, she allows herself to feel completely safe, because she trusts him.


	5. Fear

Disclaimer: TVD is not mine.

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><p>Even though he could kill her in a split second, it has never occurred to Elena to be afraid of Damon in a physical way. She isn't completely sure about a lot of things, but she is completely sure that he will never physically harm her.<p>

She's afraid of him because he can break her, and she knows it (even if he doesn't.)

She's afraid of him because he makes her feel things she has never felt (not even with Stefan.)

She's afraid of him because he can leave her (even though he swears he won't.)

She has stood strong through losing everyone else. She has lost Jenna, Jonathan, Stefan, her parents, Isobel (even though she didn't really know her, it still hurts to lose her), and she still survived. She sent Jeremy away, and she survived, but Damon has become such a part of her life that she thinks losing him might kill her. She doesn't know what she would have done if Katherine hadn't waltzed in with the cure to the werewolf bite; what she would have done if he'd died (she has never felt pain like the pain she felt when she thought she would lose him.) She doesn't know what she would have done if he hadn't been there for her when Stefan left.

That's what it comes down to. She's afraid she's going to lose him so she pushes him as far away as she can bear to have him (which isn't very far). She pushes him away even though she knows that it's too late to protect herself from what will happen if she loses him (it's all she knows how to do).

She can't deal with the pain if she loses him, too.

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><p>Reviews make my day :)<p> 


	6. Cry

Alright, so I'm not sure how I did on this one...

Disclaimer: TVD is not mine.

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><p>He doesn't cry very often. When he does cry, it's never more than a few tears. He has never actually cried for any length of time.<p>

When he finds out that Stefan has left town with Klaus he waits until Elena leaves and then he cries; really cries. He sits there, leaning against the wall of his bedroom, tears streaming silently down his face as he stares into the distance.

He cries because his baby brother, who he loves more than he will ever admit, is gone and there is nothing he can do to help him. He cries for Stefan, who he knows has to be suffering right now. He cries for Elena, who has just lost her father and her aunt, as well as losing Stefan. He cries because he doesn't see a way out of this never ending cycle of death and pain. He cries because he doesn't know how to protect Elena—because, when it comes down to it, he can't protect her from everything.

When he has cried out every tear he has to cry, he has a fortifying shot of bourbon (well… three) and then pretends like nothing has happened (even though it's killing him on the inside.)

He has to be strong for her.

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><p>Reviews make my day :)<p> 


	7. Smell

Disclaimer: TVD is not mine.

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><p>He has a smell that is uniquely his own—leather, expensive cologne and a few herbs that she can't place. It was a surprise: she'd always assumed vampire's would smell like ice—like nothing—and she liked that he smelled course and real. He was not a dream.<p>

When she's upset, and he isn't with her, she buries her face in his shirt (which she nicked from his room one day, specifically for moments when she _needs_ something, anything, that smells like him) and inhales deeply. Just the scent of him can calm her down and help her relax.

When she is with him she finds excuses to hug him. When he holds her in his arms (which comforts him) she buries her face in his chest and smells (which comforts her), reveling in the unique scent of Damon Salvatore.

It smells like home.

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><p>Reviews make my day :)<p> 


	8. Innuendo

Disclaimer: TVD is not mine.

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><p>"... Why am I on your 'to do' list?" She demands, waving the aforementioned "to do" list in his face.<p>

"Well," he winks her suggestively. "I think that's pretty self-explanatory, Elena." She rolls her eyes, searching for a witty retort and coming up blank.

"Ugh. Screw you, Damon," She mutters under her breath, turning to go. Unfortunately, he hears her. Stupid vampire hearing.

"Well, if you insist, that's definitely a plan I can get behind." He tells her, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. "All you had to do was ask, Elena."

She feels herself flushing bright red at the innuendo and she has NO idea why (she refuses to acknowledge that she's aroused.) He laughs in delight, thrilled at making her blush, and precedes to tease her how much she wants him for the next two weeks.

"I wonder if there are any more psychotic vampires looking for a doppelganger sacrifice." She snaps, after the thousandth witty remark. "Fiery, bloody doom is looking really, really good right about now."

"Elena, you can't sacrifice yourself." He tells her earnestly. "I haven't even made half the remarks I want to about how much you want me."

"You're going to have to turn me into a vampire," she quips. "I have a feeling the next fifty or so years aren't going to be enough time for you to torture me."

Even though she says it flippantly, secretly the idea of spending eternity with him appeals to her

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><p>I hope you enjoyed reading that as much as I enjoyed writing that.<p>

Reviews make my day :)


	9. Protect

To everyone who has reviewed/favorited/put this story on alerts: thank you! Your support means more to me than you know.

Disclaimer: TVD is not mine.

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><p>He has always felt protective of her, mostly because she is always in danger (he won't admit that he can't lose her.) If a humanvampire/werewolf/hybrid so much as looked at her the wrong way, he would be there, ready to snap some necks if they insulted _his_ Elena (because she is his, whether she knows it or not.)

Sometimes he is overprotective, and he knows it, but it's because he loves her so much he can't stand to see her at risk. He wishes she understood that, but she doesn't, and he's willing to be the bad guy if it means keeping her safe.

He can't lose her.

She has felt protective of him ever since she had found out about what Katherine had done to him. Every girl he brings home she watches carefully, making sure they aren't going to hurt _her_ Damon (she will not admit that she thinks of him as 'her' Damon). It's not right for someone who loves so passionately and so completely to get hurt so much, and she will not let someone else hurt him (she refuses to acknowledge that she's hurting him.)

When he does get hurt, which is far more often than she'd like, she stays around to comfort and heal. He is her Damon, and she swears she will be there for him to pick up the pieces.

She can't lose him.

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><p>Reviews make me write faster. *nods*<p> 


	10. Tension

Disclaimer: TVD is not mine.

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><p>She can feel it (she'll never admit it exists). He can feel it (he delights in it). Everyone around can feel it (which is very awkward for Stefan). The sexual tension between them is so thick that it could be cut with a knife.<p>

It scares her, because she knows she shouldn't be this attracted to her boyfriend's brother. Her heartbeat should not quicken when he touches her. She should not have dreams that he stars in. None of this should be happening. She should not be attracted to Damon because she's in love with Stefan (at least…she thinks she is.)

But she is attracted to him. She can't help it, no matter what she does. So she ignores it as best as she can.

That only makes it worse.

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><p>Reviews make me write faster. *nods*<p> 


	11. Sorry

Disclaimer: TVD is not mine.

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><p>For days after it happened she replays that moment in her head, over and over and over.<p>

_"I'm mad at you because I love you!" _

_"Maybe that's the problem." _

It tears her apart inside. She hates herself for saying it-she hates herself for hurting him-but she can't bring herself to apologize, because if she had to do it over again, she'd still have Stefan take him out somehow. She'd still want to talk to Esther. She only regretted what she'd said, not what she'd done.

So she avoids him as much as possible, and things are weird. She tries to deny it, but she can't. It's weird.

One night, possessed by a feeling she can't name, she goes over to the boarding house. It takes everything she has to force herself up to the door, and then she can't take it anymore. Sighing, she turns to go, promising herself that she'll try again tomorrow.

Suddenly Damon is directly in front of her staring at her with those piercing blue eyes. They stood there staring at each other for a moment, neither of them speaking. She can see the pain in his eyes, and it's killing her.

She can't take it anymore.

"I'm...S-Sorry..." Her lips trembled as that apologetic whisper broke the silence, and she repeated it over and over again, unable to stop the tears that finally fell to the pavement. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm _so_ sorry..."

He wraps his arms around her, holding her tightly as she cries. Finally, he says the only words that matter.

"It's OK, Elena. It's OK. I forgive you."

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><p>Reviews make me write faster. *nods*<p> 


	12. Friendship

Oh, gosh, you guys. The outpouring of support after the last chapter has been incredible. You guys are the best :)

Disclaimer: TVD is not mine.

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><p>He loves her so much it hurts. Every fiber if his being he channels into loving this one human girl. He always has been, and he always will be, the brother who loved too much.<p>

He knows that, even if she won't admit it, she loves him back. He knows that she's not ready to admit it, because she's still too confused about Stefan. That's OK. He'll wait for her, for as long as it takes. He'll be her shoulder to cry on; her rock in the storm. He'll be her friend, because that's what she really needs him to be, and he loves her so much that just being friends is enough.

It's better than being nothing.

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><p>Reviews make me write faster. *nods*<p> 


	13. Honesty

This is the product of spending far too much time analyzing the Damon-Elena-Stefan love triangle/analyzing what must be going on in Elena's mind to be acting the way she is (I object to the way she's been treating Damon. When she told him he might not be the best person to teach Stefan about self-control, I realllly wished that Damon would point out that the fact he hadn't snapped her neck yet shows remarkable self control.) Anyway, I'll shut up now. :)

Disclaimer: TVD is not mine.

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><p>One of the things she likes more about Damon than Stefan is that Damon has always been upfront and honest about who he is, even though she often refuses to believe him. It's ridiculous, really. She is constantly surprised when he does something horrible, even though he is just being the person he has always told her he is. That is the problem with Damon—he is exactly who he says he is, although she firmly believes there is a better part of him. Their problem is his reality.<p>

It's an interesting juxtaposition, she reflects. If the problem between her and Damon is reality, the problem between her and Stefan is illusion. By hiding so much of his true self from her, she never got to know the real him, so she was completely blindsided when he turned out to not really be the person he'd always seemed to be. He kept so much about himself hidden from her, and it kills her to acknowledge that the Stefan she loved wasn't entirely real. It was only one side of the coin, and she never knew the other side existed, except in a remote way.

The whole thing, the sudden reversal of roles, confuses her. She used to trust Stefan's motives and do nothing but doubt Damon's, and now the situation is turned on it's head. She trusts Damon's motives (mostly), and she does nothing but doubt Stefan's.

It doesn't really come down to who she loves, because she loves both of them. It comes down to who she trusts and what she knows. At this point, all she knows is that Damon tells her the truth, and she appreciates that. Right now the truth is all she has.

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><p>Alright, I'm not sure how I feel about this. I don't think it's my best work, but I don't think it's my worst, either. Soo... drop me a line and let me know what you think?<p> 


	14. Feel

Am I the only one who hates the way we get 3 episodes of TVD and then it goes on hiatus for a month? Grrrr...

Disclaimer: TVD is not mine. If it was things would have been going a little differently...

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><p>Ever since the death of her parents she has been numb. She just wants to feel something, <em>anything<em>; anger, hurt, joy, pain…anything to escape from this endless ache of nothingness. It's part of what attracts her to Stefan. When she first meets him, she feels something gently fluttering deep within her. She feels something for Stefan. She loves Stefan.

But she loves Damon, too.

Damon crept up on her. One day she found herself feeling that same gentle fluttering she first felt when she saw Stefan. Except it grows in to so much more: a warmth that consumes her when she sees him, hears him, touches him… It doesn't take much to ignite the feeling within her, sending a warm glow spreading through her body. For the first time in a long time, she feels _alive_.

Damon taught her how to live again.

Whereas her love for Stefan was warm and gentle and _safe_, her love for Damon is passionate and _all-consuming_. She does everything she can to fight it, to keep it locked deep within a secret part of her heart, because she is afraid of what will happen if she lets it out. She is afraid of the inferno she knows will consume her if she admits that she loves him.

She's afraid of what he makes her feel.

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><p>Ever since he met Sage, he's turned it off. He didn't want to feel the pain, the hurt, the anger, the hatred…. So he turned it off, and he drank. Bourbon, whiskey, tequila, sorority girl... He wasn't particular. It made his life easy. He didn't have to feel anything he didn't want to. The only thing he let himself feel was his love for Katherine. No matter what she does, a part of him will always love Katherine.<p>

But he loves Elena more.

He saw Elena coming; knew that he would fall long before he did. He tried desperately not to (he never wants to fall in love again), but he can't help it. She was the only person he could talk to-his only friend-and somewhere along the way he fell head over heels for her. It was hard, because loving her meant letting all the hurt and anger and guilt and pain back in, but it was worth it.

She taught him how to feel again.

His love for Katherine seems calm and gentle compared to the fire he feels for Elena. At first he tried to ignore it, to destroy it, because he truly believes that she is better off with Stefan. Besides, he has never felt love like this, and he is afraid of it. He is afraid of what will happen when the fire consumes him, as he knows it will. He's afraid to give one person so much power over him, especially after what Katherine did.

He's afraid of what she makes him feel.

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><p>Let me know what you thought of this chapter? :)<p> 


	15. Pretend

Sigh... I'm sorry it took me so long to update! I wrote a bunch of stuff, but none of it turned out quite right for this story... One of them, however, became it's own Delena oneshot. It's up on my profile now, if you want to check it out ;)

Disclaimer: TVD is not mine. If it was things would have been going a little differently...

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><p>Sometimes, when it's late at night and she's lying there in Stefan's arms, she finds herself pretending it's Damon. It is Damon who holds her, Damon who kisses her, Damon, Damon, Damon. She doesn't do it on purpose, he just slips in through the cracks, and she can't seem to shake him... She has never been able to shake him.<p>

She feels so horribly guilty that she tells him he's lost her forever, even though deep down she knows he hasn't. She knows it isn't his fault, but she blames him anyway. It's easier than admitting that maybe she's with the wrong brother. It's easier than admitting that maybe the fairytale love she shares with Stefan isn't enough, because fairytales aren't real. After the Prince and Princess ride off into the sunset, life still goes on. Bad things still happen. The second act of "Into The Woods" taught her that. Stefan leaving only serves to feed the tiny seed of doubt Damon has unknowingly planted in her brain.

So she clings that much harder to Stefan, because Stefan is steady and good and safe and doesn't deserve a girlfriend who thinks about his brother when she's with him. She pretends she's still wildly in love with him (she doesn't think she is). She pretends she wants him just as much as she always has (she doesn't). She pretends her whole body is on fire when he touches her (it isn't).

As part of this, she pretends not to be attracted to Damon (she is). She pretends that she doesn't think about kissing him when she looks at him (she does). She pretends that her whole body isn't on fire when he touches her (it is).

She pretends.

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><p>Question: favorite Delena song? (Either one that's played in a Delena scene on the show, or a song that reminds you of Delena). I'm looking for some new music to listen to while I write...<p> 


	16. Stay

Disclaimer: TVD is not mine.

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><p>"It's late," he tells her. "You should go home and get some rest, Elena. We can pick up Stefan-hunting in the morning."<p>

"Yeah," she murmurs distractedly, checking the time on her phone. It's 1:30 in the morning, and she really doesn't feel like driving home.

"You want to crash here?" Damon asks unexpectedly.

"Mmmm," she murmurs, standing up and swaying slightly, black spots dotting her vision. "OK."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Elena. Are you OK?" he asks, suddenly appearing in front of her and steadying her. She wonders if he has always said her name like that—like it's the most beautiful sound in the world.

I _am _tired, she realizes, taking his hand to steady herself and leading him up the stairs. She stumbles once or twice, and out of the corner of her eye she can see him watching her. He's trying to be nonchalant, but she can see the worry in his eyes. She feels a sudden impulse to throw her arms around him and kiss him, to assure him that she's OK, she's just tired.

But she doesn't. Instead she leads him into his room out of habit, flopping on the bed there.

"Goodnight, Elena," he kisses her forehead before turning to go.

Tears spring to her eyes as she remembers the night that he lay here dying. She can't stay here alone, she can't. It'll be too much like she lost him. Like he…

She can't even bring herself to think the word as panic seizes her at the thought of him not being there for her.

"Damon," she chokes out, her voice more anxious and urgent and needy than she wants it to be."Stay. Please. Don't leave me." He nods before disappearing into his bathroom. When he emerges he's wearing only a pair of black pajama pants; no shirt. She has to resist the urge to ravage him with her eyes. What has gotten into her?

He is by her side in a flash, lying on the bed next to her. Without preamble he pulls her towards him and cups her face, tilting her head so that she is forced to look him in the eyes.

"Elena. Look at me. I will never leave you, OK? Never."

She curls up against him in response and he wraps his arms around her tightly, holding her close to him and pressing slow, gentle kisses into her hair.

She will be OK, as long as he stays.

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><p>Reviews make me happy :)<p> 


	17. Hope

OK, SPOILERS in this chapter/AN not for anyone who hasn't seen "Heart Of Darkness". SPOILERS NOW. AHEAD. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. Three things: 1) OMG, DELENA KISS! 2) Good for Damon for refusing to make things easier for Elena! I think it shows a real evolution in his character. 3) I loved Rose's speech at the end-because she got it perfectly. That's exactly it.

Disclaimer: TVD is not mine.

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><p>"Well I'm sorry, Elena, but this time I'm not going to make it so easy for you. This time you'll have to figure it out for yourself."<p>

As he walks away from her, standing in Scary Mary's house in Kansas, he feels a strange sense of maturity. All along she has begged him to be the better man and he has ignored her, thinking it would do no good. He had always thought she was going to choose Stefan, so why bother trying to be the man she wanted him to be when it would just get him hurt? That had always been his logic, and he has never been so glad to be proved wrong.

She is right about him lashing out, he knows that. He also knows that he's made it easy for her to always choose Stefan by _not _being the better man. He had truly thought it was never going to be him, that it would _always _be Stefan, and that had destroyed him more than he would ever admit.

But tonight, for the first time, he feels a tiny flicker of hope lighting the darkness he has found himself in. She kissed him, and there is no way around that. That means she feels _something, _even if she won't admit it—even if she doesn't know what it is.

He will not make it easy on her this time. He _will _be the better man for her, because he thinks he just might have a chance. He hopes that maybe, just maybe, she'll give into whatever it is that's going on between them, just like she did that night.

He hopes.

And the only thing stronger than fear is hope.

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><p>Reviews make me happy :)<p> 


	18. Flirt

Disclaimer: TVD is not mine.

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><p>In the days after Stefan leaves, he is the only one who can truly make her laugh—make her feel like the Elena she used to be, before all this mystical stuff entered her life. Somewhere along the way, they start making plans outside of Stefan-hunting. Gradually, they fall into a simple routine of every Friday night being pizza and movie night. After the first few weeks he stops treating her like she might break and goes right back to being his old, inappropriate, hilarious self. This, of course, involves flirting with her practically non-stop.<p>

"Hey!" He greets her at the door of his house one Friday, an unexpected occurrence. Usually she waltzes in and meets him in the kitchen. "So, I'm thinking an epic pizza tonight, yeah? And no, I will not tell you what an epic pizza means, Elena."

She shrugs, smiling a little at his childlike enthusiasm. (she doesn't know that he's enthusiastic to see her—not to make pizza)

"Sure. Do you want my assistance in the making of this epic pizza, or should I go pick out a movie?"

"Your assistance is not required, although it is definitely desired. You covered in pizza sauce and mozzarella is one of my favorite fantasies." He winks at her and does that thing with his eyes. She feels her knees go a little weak.

"Kinky," she says, amazed at how blasé she manages to sound. "Personally, I prefer chocolate sauce and whipped cream, but each to his own. I'll go pick a movie, then?"

She brushes past him, taking time to note the stunned look on his face, and disappears up to his room, where he keeps all his favorite movies.

Only once she's up there does she allow herself to double over laughing, because the look on his face was just so funny.

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><p>Story recommendations: "My Dear, I Don't Give A Damn," and "Vampires Don't Sparkle", both by OldVictorianQuill. They're both really, really good. You can find them under favorites on my profile, or you can just search them. Seriously, read them. They are some of the best Delena fanfiction I've read.<p>

Reviews make my day :)


	19. Confuse

Disclaimer: TVD is not mine.

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><p>He confuses her to no end; he always has. With Stefan everything is so black and white—she loves him and he loves her and that's all there is to it. With Damon everything is shades of grey—right and wrong becoming so twisted around each other that she has no idea which is which.<p>

It confuses her how quickly he can go from bantering with her, his voice laden with innuendo, to cupping her face gently and asking her what's wrong. How quickly he swings from being a complete and total jerk to being the sweetest, gentlest person on the planet. Sometimes she catches him looking at her, and he has this look on his face that's not a smile but a sort of wistful, far off look. Like he's staring at a beautiful picture, somewhere he wishes he could be. When she sees him looking at her it breaks her heart a little, because he looks so sad, and she wants to fix it but she doesn't know how. Of course, the instant he realizes she has noticed he morphs back into his usual self.

It is this Damon, who is so sinfully naughty one moment and so unbearably sweet the next, that confuses her so.

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><p>Reviews make my day :)<p> 


	20. Lose

**IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE SEASON 3 FINALE, DO NOT READ THIS AN OR THIS CHAPTER UNTIL YOU HAVE. THERE ARE MAJOR SPOILERS. **OK, longish AN here. I know, not the most fun to read, but I really need everyone to read this. Firstly, I'm so sorry I haven't updated recently! I had to wait for the finale to see who Elena chose, because that affects the remaining number of chapters. Secondly, I'd like to thank everyone who's read/reviewed/favorited/put this story on alert so far. You mean the world to me. With that said, this story has always had a very hazy beginning/middle of defining and exploring the relationship Delena has, but it has a clear and definite end. With that said, I'm going to have to go slightly AU to give this story the end I intended for it. It will be canon compliant with everything EXCEPT the car crash at the end of the finale and the major Elena plot twist therein. That isn't in here. (for those of you wondering, I'm looking at 4-5 more chapters)

Disclaimer: TVD is not mine.

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><p><em>No light, no light <em>

_In your bright blue eyes _

_I never knew daylight could be so violent_

_ A revelation in the light of day _

_You can't choose what stays and what fades away _

_And I'd do anything to make you stay _

_No light, no light _

_Tell me what you want me to say_

He leaves her.

She knows she shouldn't be surprised—she should have expected it. After all, when push came to shove, she chose Stefan. Stefan was safe, Stefan was known and… well… Stefan needed her, in a way that Damon never had. Besides, Stefan's love was gentle breeze compared to the category 5 hurricane of Damon's love—a hurricane that consumed her and terrified her. Yes, she was scared. She'll admit that.

But still…. She wishes he hadn't gone.

That night, as she lay in bed trying to sleep, he had materialized next to her bed. His face, barely lit through the darkness of the room, haunts her. She clearly remembers every single word he'd whispered, not knowing she was awake. How much he loved her, how he had met her first… everything. It was all she could do not to burst into tears and confess everything—how much she loves him, how much she needs him. But she can't.

So she copes. This is done by going and sitting on the floor wearing his clothes, in his room, and mourning him. She misses him so much, and she didn't truly know how much she needed him until she didn't have him anymore. She had never thought that they'd have a last: a last hug, a last fight, a last talk…. A last kiss. In the back of her mind, she'd always thought that she would always have Damon. She never imagined they'd end like this. She'd never thought he would really go.

For six months she watches his life in cell phone pictures that he occasionally sends to Stefan. She reads every single text message he sends to Stefan; reading them over and over until every single one is committed to memory. She physically feels him forgetting her, and it tears her apart. She gets in touch with Katherine occasionally, when she really needs a Damon update, just to ask him how he is. Other than that, she knows nothing about him.

All that she knows is there is an empty hole where her heart used to be—a hole that had been ripped open six months previously.

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><p>Honestly, I did try to write about this from Damon's POV, too. It was breaking my heart though, and I couldn't seem to capture all the pain I wanted to. So, that's why Damon isn't in here.<p> 


	21. Together

So, after tonight's Stelena focused finale, I didn't want to leave this story on the sad note of the last chapter. Now we're back to Delena goodness :)

Disclaimer: TVD is not mine.

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><p>After six months without him she breaks down. It's the week before her 19th birthday, and all she can think about is her 18th birthday, when she had Damon and had lost Stefan. SShe can't stop thinking about the way Damon never left her; the way he held her together that summer.<p>

"Go," Stefan tells her, the day before she turns 19. "I know you need him. I know your heart isn't here. I've been denying it for six months, Elena. We both have. It's time to stop pretending. Go."

"Stefan, no," she says halfheartedly.

"No, Elena. Go. Just… go. Go before I can rethink this." She can't find it in herself to refuse him again—not when he's giving her the only thing she wants.

"I'm so sorry. I never meant to do this." She tells him, tears shining in her eyes.

"I know, Elena." He says. "I know. Just… go."

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><p>Six months later, and he's still not getting better. He drinks all the time now, and his tastes aren't particular; bourbon, vodka, sorority girl... anything would do. It's right before her 19th birthday, a fact that he can't shove out of his mind, and he keeps thinking back to a year ago. He didn't have her, but he was with her, and that was so much better than nothing at all.<p>

_Call her_. A part of his brain whispers. _No, don't._ the other part of him tells him. _You promised Stefan you'd leave. _

_It's just a happy birthday, _the other side of him tells him.

He doesn't have the strength to do this anymore, he realizes, his phone already in his hand. He just needs to speak to her, if only for a few moments. He's not sure if that will make it easier or harder, but he knows it's what he needs.

Before he has a chance, the phone rings.

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><p>On her 19th birthday they find each other in a small town in Georgia—the place where their relationship began. She's waiting for him when he gets there, and neither of them has ever felt as complete as they do in the first long moment where they stand there, staring at each other and trying to process if this is really happening.<p>

Then she's running at him, throwing her arms around him and crashing her lips to his. He lifts her up and she wraps her legs around him tightly, desperately holding him to her. They are each trying to memorize this moment and the way they feel in each other's arms.

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><p>Damon and Elena: two broken, jagged, scarred halves; one imperfect whole.<p>

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><p>Reviews make my day :)<p> 


	22. Save

Alright! So you have some options right now. There are 3-4 chapters left (I'm trying to decide whether to include on of them), and they are all written and ready to be posted. Also, I leave for vacation in three days, I'll be gone for two weeks, and I won't access to a keyboard, or my stories. So, do you want me to post everything and wrap this up really quickly, or do you want me to drag it out and finish this story in early June?

Disclaimer: TVD is not mine.

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><p>He has saved her more times than she can count, she reflects. He has saved her life, but he has also saved her sanity. He is the only reason that she is still herself—still sane. She truly does not know what she would do without him. He saved her when she was in the hospital, being drained of blood so that Klaus could make hybrids. He saved her when Stefan almost drove her off a bridge. He gave her his house so that she would be safe in it. He saved her over and over and over again. He let her hate him if it meant that she was safe.<p>

He would die for her.

She thinks he might be her very own twisted guardian angel.

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><p>She saved his humanity.<p>

He was damaged, they both knew that. The one time she had asked him about it, he hadn't quite been able to put it into words.

"Katherine ruined me. She broke me in half and… she ruined me," he admits (he hates admitting it, it makes him feel weak) "I don't know how to love you the right way because what she and I had…it wasn't real. It was never real."

It wasn't really an explanation, but he knew Elena understood what he was trying to say. She always understood.

"I'm going to fix whatever she did, Damon." She tells him determinedly. "I'm not going to leave you. Ever."

He smiles at her hope—at her determination to make everything better.

"You should have met me in 1864." He tells her, echoing a sentiment he has expressed before. "You would have liked me."

"I _love_ you now. Just the way you are." She reminds him, kissing him gently, and it's possibly the only thing that she could have said that comes close to making up for a century and a half of psychological damage.

He wonders how an angel like her loves him.

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><p>So, what I was trying to get with Damon not loving her the right way is kind of complicated. I tried my best to get across, but if you don't quite understand what I'm getting at, please feel free to get in touch and I'll do my best to explain it to you.<p>

Reviews make my day :)


	23. Kiss

Well, no one responded as to whether they wanted it dragged out or short and sweet, so I'm dragging it out. There will probably be an update tomorrow, and then I'm thinking there won't be another chapter for two weeks while I'm away. We'll see, though. If I have unexpected internet access I may post. ;)

Disclaimer: TVD is not mine.

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><p>Their first kiss was forced. Their second kiss took place when one of them was half dead. So the third kiss, when they both feel everything, is what they both count as their first kiss. Standing there on her front porch, it is sweet and simple and tentative as he first presses his mouth to hers, begging her to let him in.<p>

It's hard enough to resist him when he's just standing there next to her, let alone when he's pressed up against her kissing her. So she lets her guard down, and she kisses him back. And the kiss becomes more needy, more desperate, more passionate. Just… _more. _

That kiss haunts her for the weeks to come, until she finally succumbs and kisses him again in Denver. Once she starts, she can't stop. Kissing him makes her feel whole again—like she might someday be the Elena she used to be. When she's kissing him, the pain fades away, and it feels like maybe she can just be a teenage girl, if only for a few moments.

Sometimes he kisses her sweetly and gently, sometimes it's hard and needy. Sometimes he kisses her like they only have a few more moments together, and he wants to memorize every part of her. Sometimes he kisses her like they have all the time in the world, and he has an eternity to kiss her as much as he wants.

They are all passionate, though. No matter how simple or how desperate, they are all passionate.

They all scream of his love for her.

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><p>Ya'll got really quiet on the review front (speaking of, thank you to Tygee and PlayWithFire97! They were the only people to review the last three chapters so far.)... This silence feeds my neurotic writer side. I'll be the one curled up in a fetal position in the corner, rocking back and forth nervously!:)<p>

Haha, just kidding... Mostly.


	24. Need

Disclaimer: TVD is not mine.

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><p>Every muscle within her is on fire when he touches her, burning, aching for something more. His fingers ghost up and down her body, finally coming to rest lightly on her hips as he places light as a feather kisses on her face and neck.<p>

She craves him, like nothing she has ever craved before. It's like she has been holding her breath for a very long time, and he is the air she so desperately craves. He is a physical need, and she doesn't know how she has lived without this for so long.

When he holds her in his arms everything fades away until it is only the two of them in their own little world. There is only one reality for her, and it is right there beside her. He kisses the hollow of her neck gently, slowly working his way up until he captures her lips in one passionate, mind blowing, world altering kiss.

She shivers with joy and pulls him closer to her. Only one thing matters now.

Damon.

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><p>Reviews make my day :)<p> 


	25. Love

I'm baaack! There are two more chapters after this, and then this story is finished :( I should have everything posted within the next week.

This is definitely one of my favorite things that I've written for this story. I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: TVD is not mine.

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><p>"What does love mean to you, Damon?" she asks. She's sitting curled up against him, and he's playing with her hair, occasionally planting kisses on the top of her head. It's the simple intimacy of the moment that prompts her question.<p>

She twists around to look him in the eye, trying to gauge his reaction to her question. He opens his mouth to respond and then pauses.

"Can I hear your definition, first?"

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><p>She pauses, suddenly rethinking the answer she had used for years. Defining love isn't as easy as it used to be. It wasn't so long ago that love equaled a shining prince on a white horse; someone who would sweep her off her feet and carry her off into the sunset; someone who would love and adore her, always making grand romantic gestures.<p>

Maybe the fairy tales she so loved as a child taught her that-gave her this sweeping, unrealistic view of love. Maybe it was something she had learned from Stefan, when he came along and she tried so hard to make him her knight and he tried so hard to be her knight.

That was what she was prepared to answer with-some trite and cliché answer about fairy tale love. But that's not right-that's just what love used to mean. And love has long since stopped meaning anything it used to.

It's all his fault. Damon's.

He came into her life, made it impossible to hate him, confused her to no end, saved her on numerous occasions, was prepared to sacrifice everything for her and (basically) ask for nothing in return. He even tried to get Stefan back for her, when he could have been trying to keep Stefan away.

And suddenly she knows. Love is black leather jackets and bourbon. Love is…

"Love is doing anything, absolutely anything to keep the person you love safe. Even if it means hurting and alienating them in the process," She replies softly. "It's the willingness to do anything, to sacrifice everything, for the one you love." she pauses. "Including letting her be with your brother if it meant she was happy."

There's a long pause while he stares at her, eyes full of love and adoration. She blushes and kisses him lightly. "Your turn."

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><p>He sighs, stroking her hair thoughtfully as he thinks about her question.<p>

Defining love isn't as easy as it used to be. As a human he didn't think about it much-with Giuseppe Salvatore as your father you married for social status, not love. As a vampire, it wasn't so long ago that love equaled lust, which equaled sex or blood. Or sex and blood. "Love" was just a word, a synonym for "instant gratification," with no feelings attached to it.

Maybe Katherine taught him that-her "love" was certainly completely screwed up and manipulative, interested only in her own satisfaction. Maybe he learned it on his own as he fed and compelled his way through a century and a half's worth of women.

Stopping to think about it, though, he knows that isn't it anymore. That hasn't been it for a long time. It is certainly what love used to mean, but "love" has long since stopped meaning anything it used to.

It's all her fault. Elena's.

She makes him feel. Beyond that, she makes him want to feel, not just for her, but for others. She makes him want to be the better man. She makes him want to sacrifice anything and everything to protect her. She is sweet and kind and compassionate and wonderful, and she makes him feel things he thought he was no longer capable of. She makes him feel human.

Then he knows.

"Love is you."

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><p>Reviews make my day!<p> 


	26. Eternity

Disclaimer: TVD is not mine.

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><p>It takes her a while to arrive at the decision. They start dating when she is nineteen and she vows to stay human as long as she can. But the years pass, and there are good things about that. Each day they grow closer, and she falls more in love with him. He proposes, and she doesn't even have to think about what to say—she can't imagine marrying anyone else.<p>

On the other hand, the years pass and she gets older while he doesn't. She gets closer and closer to her 25th birthday; how old Damon was when he turned.

The day before her birthday all she can hear is Lexi's voice, from so many years ago, telling her that if you wanted to be with someone forever…

She does. She cannot bear the thought of living without him. She knows he will stay with her until the end, but she doesn't want there to be an end. As long as there is Damon, there will be Elena.

"Are you sure you want this?" He asks her. "I'll still love you just as much, no matter what you choose."

"I want this," she tells him confidently. "I want you, Damon. All of you. Forever and always."

"God I love you." He tells her, picking her up and cradling her to his body before leaning into kiss her, and as he kisses her he erases any of her lingering doubts.

She is ready to spend eternity with him.

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><p>Reviews make my day!<p> 


	27. Identity

This is the last one. Briefly, I'd like to thank everyone for sticking with this story. Thank you so much for reviewing/favoriting/alerting/PMing me, etc. You guys are awesome.

Disclaimer: TVD is not mine.

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><p>He wears two rings that define everything he is. The gaudy lapis lazuli ring says that he is a daywalker; the simple gold band says he is <em>hers. <em>

She wears two rings that define everything she is. The simple gold band says that she is his; the delicate silver and lapis ring says that she will _always _be his.

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><p>Shameless self-promotion! I hope you'll check out some of the other Delena oneshots I have up. Hopefully I'll have another multi-chapter fic coming soon, and I hope you'll keep an eye out for that.<p> 


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